This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
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Ok, I’m not a prude at all, but Alan Ball, damn – really? What a way to introduce Queen Sophie Ann. I can safely say I was not expecting that opening. We find Queenie on her knees feeding from some women’s uh, crotch area. Yeah, only place she had I guess. Next. Hoyt didn’t react well to Jessica’s decision to feed on his mom. In fact, he takes his crazy momma home and asks Jessica’s where was she raised? Leaving her to cry both anger and hurt tears. Can someone tell Hoyt the girl is only 17; she was still in the process of being raised. Back to Queenie…Evan I have to say I liked her last night. In a previous post I mentioned, usually I can’t stand her, but she was actually pretty perfect in the role. Seriously, Evan had the queen b*tch act down and she looked fab. High-five. Sophie Ann explains that Maenad Maryan isn’t really immortal, because on a base-level she is still human. Deep.

Did anyone else want to slap the braids off Tara? Seriously. Tara wants to save Eggs from Maryann, because she is her true love. Seriously. Tara tells her mother she doesn’t know love, Lafayette he is a freak that will never find love and Sookie she could only find love with a dead man. Seriously. Apparently girls, buttaface Eggs is all that! The sex is so good; she is so veree in loveded with him. Sam revealed his shapeshifting secret to Andy and Stupid Hot. Stupid Hot of course found it very cool and for the rest of the night he came up with the craziest scenarios for Sam.

Arlene’s poor kids are basically on her own; because, of course their momma has the Coroline button eye spell. They seek food and shelter from Sam at the bar. Jason has decided to take a stand and he and Andy are off to the police station to get an arsenal. I NO LONGER LIKE TARA. I just cannot wrap my brain around anything that chick did this entire episode, which consisted of getting her just as dumb mother, to help her escape. If one more person holds a gun on Lafayette, I’m going to Bon Temps. What was the logic behind, Lettie Mae letting Tara go back to Eggs? Nonsense. We also find out Lafayette is also having dreams about Eric. Why I am not having dreams about Eric? Can he bottle some of his blood, help our cause, Eric.

I want to give props to Everly Mason and her big blue grannie panties. You are a brave actress. Jason has decided to use his hot for good, by distracting one of the Corolineians while Andy racked up on guns. Sookie and Lafayette managed to get away from momma dumb and take off to get Tara. That’s one decision I was so against, Tara deserves whatever she gets at this point. Save yourselves, leave her. Sam takes off to Fangtasia and asks Eric to help. And Pam, the always funny Pam, just wants him to leave and take Arlene’s kids with him. Eric agrees reluctantly enough to help and we find he likes kids, but not in a good way.

Momma Hoyt revealed some not so interesting information about Father Hoyt, which leads me to believe he will apologize to Jessica real soon. Uh, Eric’s flying could have been better, but anyone else feels like they were watching an old episode of like Superman or something? Yuck. Once Sookie returns to her house she finds the continuing debauchery, I mean seriously Arlene and Terry are hanging out in a tree, some random dude is sitting in her sink, some big teeth chick is cutting her fingers off with glee and the coroner dude is laying on the floor. I’m going to also need Stephen Moyer to hit the gym a little harder before he takes his shirt off again. Seriously. After Queen Sophie’s buffet of warm bodies she tells of how Maryann’s kind came to be and that she chose Sam pretty much because he is supernatural and we find out all this is pretty much Tara’s fault for summoning her last season with that Ms. Jeanette of the bus voodoo.

Some more not necessarily random events happen like Bill meets Sookie’s wayward cousin. I feel something from the books is being set up here, do you? Uh, yeah, plot watch. Eric arrives and Bill threatens him. Fuuny, every time he says Sukee I laugh so I can’t possibly take his threats seriously. Jason tells us he works out like a muthaf*cka and watches a lot of porn. Basically it’s up to Andy and Stupid Hot to save Bon Temps. Ya’ll are screwed! Move now.

The episode ended with Lafayette getting the Coroline Button Eye spell and a giant egg! Overall the episode was better than last weeks, but Eric’s flying and the Fred Flintstone terradactyl egg in the bed took me waaaay out of the episode. That was some lame sh*t. I would give the episode a 7.5/10, if I were rating it. Thoughts, groans, moans?

I will leave you guys with these questions for next week’s episode:
Did Maryann chose Sam because he was supernatural and had ties to Bon Temps?
Who does Sookie stab in the next episode?
Ok, what’s in the egg?
Will Bill turn Sam over to Maryann?
Why was Sookie walking around with a purse?
Anyone else vote for Stupid Hot to wear that gray t-shirt from now on?
Yahtzee anyone?

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