This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**

BTW, sorry for the late post, but life gets in the way sometimes. First off who knew Andy Belfor actually has a purpose, he actually managed to drunken stumble upon the MaryAnn sex orgy and save our favorite dog Sam. Good for him, maybe I won’t club him for upsetting Lafayette in the last episode. Soon after, we see Hugo having a claustrophobic meltdown and still stuck in the basement of the Newlins church along with Sookie. She is using her detective skills to piece together that someone tipped the church off about their ill-fated little find Godric mission. And unfortunately for them Bill is trapped in his hotel room by Lorana.

Can I just say I really like Lorana? Whoever is dressing this chick for her flashbacks is channeling Edith Head. Don’t worry you can look that up later. Anyfashion, we get a flashback to 1935 Los Angeles where Bill is telling Lorana how evil she is and has made him lose all his humanity, blah, blah, blah. Apparently, Bill has always been a fuddy-duddy, perfect for Sookie in every way in my opinion. STUPID HOT brought Sister Sara to tears, girls!!! Give the man a pat on the back, or a cookie. Apparently he sexed her brain out because she wants to confess it to her crazy ass husband.

Hoyt my friends is simply charming! Seriously, he is adorable. He is a 28 year old virgin. And to no one surprise so is Jessica. Pretty easy to figure out where the story is going, right? Here’s a Public Service Announcement, DO NOT SMOKE MARYANN’S WEED! Just when I thought Tara was starting to figure it out, she doesn’t. Eggs explains it all away, with the fact they must have blacked out from the pot. I’m really starting to really dislike Eggs. It’s just the fact that he is seemly content with sitting on a couch all day or following Tara to the bar. Who does that? And why hasn’t this big chunk of reality hit Tara yet? She’s not bewitched all the time.

Sam being a true Southerner had a bad encounter, he gets armed. But, according to Daphne, Maryann is a god and he’s probably going to need something a little bigger. Meanwhile, Hugo sang like a bird to the good Reverend giving up Sookie and the vamps who sent them. To which the Rev. snapped because he thinks it’s all a scheme involving Stupid Hot as well. In one of the many straight from the book moments of the episode, Sookie sends a message to fellow telepath Barry telling her where she and Hugo are being held. Now run Lassie and get help! Unfortunately, Lorana will not let Bill leave and informs him that Eric summoned her.

Anyone feel sorry for Andy? He is the only one who isn’t under Maryann’s spell and no one believes him. They have reduced him to the crazy drunk dude. Why do I get the feeling he might be the only one who comes out of this in the end unscathed? Tara and Eggs seem not to notice Maryann has man feet and neither one of them seem bothered that the woman apparently killed a rabbit with her bare hands. Rabbit, it’s what for dinner, I guess. WAKE UP TARA!

In another straight from the book moment, Hugo is a trader. Apparently he is jaded because Isabel won’t turn him. Whatever. Stupid Hot went all violent after whathisname called Sookie some nasty names. Finally fleeing the Vamp Hating Church scene or trying to anyway. There were some other episode fillers like Arlene thinking she raped Terry, Lafayette warning Tara in his most colorful way that Eggs is trouble. Satan in a Sunday Hat! Pretty good, but Satan in a Sunday Hat Hooka, would have been better, but still colorful nonetheless.

Eggs under Maryann’s black Coroline eye spell, made him stab Daphne. Good because I didn’t like that character anyway. And in more pointless moments, Bill tells Lorana he never loved her, Sister Sara decides to shoot Stupid Hot. Eric heard Barry tell Lorana that Sookie is being held captive. Can Eric get sexier? In another straight from the book Godric himself rescues Sookie from being raped. And as some of you guys might have noticed Godric is kind of hot. Wait…how old is the dude playing him? Strike that last statement until I see some I.D.

Overall the episode of course was jam-packed with excitement and more plot devices for the future, but I could do without the Days of Lives love moments with Bill and Lorana. And I’m really, really hoping the Maryann resolution isn’t based on scorned woman syndrome, because that my friends is weak. And basically who cares? I would give the episode an 8/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, groans, moans?

I will leave you guys with these questions for next week’s episode:
Is anyone else over Eggs?
How old is Lorana? And will she take Sookie shopping?
Why did Sarah shot Jason? Did she do any damage?
Will Sam join forces with Andy? Will anyone believe Andy?
Will Eric be the one who actually free’s Sookie, making her indebted to him? Or grateful? Nod, nod, wink, wink.